Deva Sessions: Clearing The Significant Other
Rick Phillips and Tan Hwee-Meng
We are born into relationships. Our first relationship is with our father and mother. Subsequently, we create many different types of relationships. We have siblings, friends, colleagues, lovers, children, in-laws and the list is endless.
Relationships are the essence of life experience. Every person we meet has a relationship with us. Some are intimate with us and some are distant. Every relationship touches us in some way; some positively and some negatively. Some relationships bring us great love and happiness and some relationships shatter and destroy us.
Since relationships are basic to life, we clearly need an effective technique to understand all of our relationships, whether joyful or heartbreaking so that we can learn and grow from them. We also need a way to heal and move on from painful relationships.
The Deva Session for “Clearing a Significant Other”: The Deva Session is a special healing session offered by Deva Facilitators to gain insights into our current relationships.It is particularly useful for coming to peace with relationships that are causing us suffering and confusion. However, we can also undertake this type of session to deepen into the intimacy of an extraordinarily loving relationship. We can use ‘Clearing a Significant Other’ sessions to work on any relationships that are significant in our lives, whether they are family, friends, bosses at work, enemies, or even the spiritual teacher that is important to us.
How Deva Session Works: Deva Facilitators recognize that our relationships with important people in our lives do not start in this life. To understand our relationships from the perspective of this lifetime is very limiting. Our history with significant people, usually begin in our past-lives. In fact, the source of many conflicts and loves in relationships are rooted in the past.
Our soul, the part of us that reincarnates from lifetime to lifetime, carries the memory of every interaction of every relationship. These past memories do influence the way we relate to the people we know now. For example, we may have not forgiven someone in our past. In this life, when we meet them again, we may find ourselves disliking them on our ‘first’ meeting.
Deva Sessions, as taught by the School of Inner Work, take a person deep within themselves into these soul memories. The experiences that arise in the session can be forgotten memories of this lifetime or other lifetimes, or experiences can be seen as symbolic stories that have special meaning and relevance to our current lives. The Deva Facilitator is trained to support this process of remembering the deeper history of our relationships and to bring important soul memories out that are important for clarifying the
relationships. Those who have experienced Deva Sessions usually find the insights, healing and illuminating for their relationships.
An Example of Deva Session: Mei Ling wanted to divorce her husband. In their marriage, Mei Ling had always felt like a mother to him. As she said, “The man I married has turned into a whining and angry child.” Because of what she called his ‘sticky childish dependency’, she had lost respect for him.
Her husband had recently suffered some financial misfortunes. She felt obligated to take care of him financially and this made her even more angry. She felt compelled to leave the marriage even though she felt a strong sense of guilt in not taking care of her husband.
They had been fighting for several months. They had attended a few counseling sessions with a family therapist with some success but the blame game was still raging.
Mei Ling decided to do Deva Sessions as a last resort to see if she could find the root cause for this conflict. She felt that doing ‘the Clearing of a Significant Other Session’ might help her marriage.
At the beginning of the session her husband’s soul appeared symbolically as a crying baby. The baby kept crying for Mother over and over again. A dialogue was established between Mei Ling and this child. It became clear that the husband was feeling abandoned, scared, and desperate for a sense of security.
Mei Ling then regressed into a past-life where her husband was a young child that had been abandoned by his mother during war. Mei Ling was his mother in that lifetime. She gave the child away because she could no longer take care of him. This was a great sacrifice on her part and imprinted profound pain on her soul and the soul of the child.
After seeing the past-life, the dynamics of mother-child in her marriage made perfect sense to her. The Deva Session opened her heart of compassion to his ‘stickiness’. She could see that her husband was still holding on to the pain of past abandonment and his fear of losing her again. She understood that his only response to this predicament was to play the wounded child role again. She could accept responsibility for the consequences of her past actions and immediately began a healing process of forgiveness and release.
She also realized that she had to stop playing ‘Mother’ to her husband. By continuing the ‘Mother’ role, she was reinforcing her husband’s childish and irresponsible behavior. Instead, she had to fully take her place as his wife and trust that her husband can step into his place as her husband so that they both had a chance to experience an equal partnership.
The couple continued the process of mending their marriage with her husband doing some Deva sessions. Seeing the bigger picture of their marriage helped the rift between them to heal. Healthy communication has now been re-established and both realize the value of remembering their past-lives.
Hopefully, this short article has inspired you to see your relationship in a larger context. Many of our current relationships spanned over many lifetimes. We do carry unhealed conflicts and unresolved issues in relationships from past-lives into this life. We also carry the positive seeds of loving relationships into this life.
For more information on Deva Sessions, please go to www.deva.org.
For a list of students who practice ‘Clearing the Significant Other’ Deva sessions, please contact Soh Wan on [email protected].