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Letting Go of Sorrow, Reconnect with the Joy of Life

Chiu-Nan Lai, Ph.D.

I first met Ted, a musician, two years ago. He was still grieving the death of his beloved daughter who committed suicide. His two sisters also passed away one after the other. I told him about Dr. Steiner’s writings on the importance of staying connected with our loved ones after they pass away, in particular sending love and blessing to them. I met Ted again recently and he appeared happier. He related that he was doing well personally and financially.

How did he emerge from his grief and sorrow? I asked him curiously. He said he discovered messages that came from the Spiritual realm. As a result he understood the continuity of Life, thinking and the Law of Attraction. He practiced it in his life, focusing his attention on positive thinking and on what he wanted. He freed himself of sadness, fear and anger. He had close encounters with death many times during the Vietnam War, and reacted with anger. At that time he did not understand that we live in a multi-dimensional world. He never considered the existence of life beyond our 3-dimensional perception. Since the death of his daughter, he has been communicating with the non-physical dimension, especially when he performs on stage. He consciously invites musicians from the Spiritual realm to perform with him, and he discovers a different experience in his fingers when he plays the guitar.

I asked him to provide a few examples to illustrate the law of attraction with thoughts. He said there was a person who borrowed a large sum of money from him and refused to return. Every time he thought of this, he became angry and even thought of harming the other person. When he understood the principle of negative thinking attracting more negative events, he swiftly shifted his attention. He thanked this person for helping him to realize the need to transform his thoughts in order to attract what he wanted. Consequently, this person returned the sum of money.

Every day, he wakes up thinking that each day is a new beginning, and he can choose to put his attention on what he envisions and what he wants. Happiness is a choice; life is meant to be joyous. “My happiness does not depend on others, it depends on me.” He chooses not to watch the news, neither does he follow the economic situation. Ever since he transformed his habitual ways of thinking, placing his attention on the positive and optimistic, his life improved in many different ways. He upgraded his house; his wealth improved; he made new friends, and most importantly, he is happy every single day. He feels love for people and situations, and only wishes to contribute to make a better world. It is a miraculous breakthrough for someone who used to be addicted to alcohol and drugs. The songs he composes also reflects his joyful attitude towards life.

There are steps to follow for us to move from sorrow to joy. It requires our commitment to improve step by step – from despair to sorrow, sorrow to rage, rage to acceptance, acceptance to hope, and finally, joy. He advised against resistance and resentment because this would only reinforce what is being resisted and resented. Mother Teresa once remarked, “I will not participate in any anti-war demonstrations… but if there is a peace rally, I’ll be there.”

If we focus on dissatisfaction, we will attract more of what’s dissatisfactory. Those who like to complain will have endless things to complain about. One who has gratitude will attract more conditions to be grateful for. People commonly pay attention to obstacles, misfortunes and dissatisfactions. Even the news mirrors our inner world. What usually get reported in the news are catastrophes, criminals and misdeeds. As a result, mass-consciousness is reinforced with all that is undesirable. We can change this when we shift our focus to what’s positive and optimistic.

It works the same way in our body. We tend to focus on areas in our body that are uncomfortable, painful and diseased. If we shift our focus to promote and improve health, the body will naturally heal itself of pain and disease. We need time to overcome our mental habits. As the first step, we have to understand we attract what we feel, experience and encounter, just like trauma creates traumas. If we wish to change this, we need to release trauma.

Contemplate on what we truly want. What do we want to attract into our lives? What kind of feelings do we want to have? Emotions are the greatest attractive force; positive emotional feelings attract more situations for us to feel positive – gratefulness and rejoicing are the best feelings to practice. Decide upon awakening that today, no matter what happens, I will be grateful. Rejoice all that we have, including people whom we dislike and consider our enemies. Rejoice whatever good that happens to them.

Dr. Mitchell May mentioned once about someone who always said ‘Thank you’. This person was full of joy and had the ability to heal. Even a handshake with him healed sick people. Many years ago, one meditation teacher of mine also said ‘Thank you’ at all times, even when she accidentally dropped a bowl of soup onto the floor. Jack Schwarz emphasized that we are able to heal ourselves when we are in a happy, excited state. In our modern time, we can work together to transform our adversities to favorable conditions. The way Ted said it “I live in an amazing world, an amazing place. Life is beautiful! I can decide to improve my life, I feel abundance, I feel blessed.”

Original Chinese article was published in Lapis magazine (November 2009 issue);
Available online at: http://www.lapislazuli.org/TradCh/magazine/200911/20091101.html